Show anger who’s boss.
Yesterday we talked about how it’s ok to be angry. We’re not evil people just because we feel anger.
But we need to own it. We can’t be a slave to it, or let it control us.
One of the biggest misconceptions / statements I hear is, “Well, I have anger issues, it’s just who I am.” Almost as if they’re saying they can’t help it and we all just need to deal with it and accept it.
I’m here to bust that myth.
Anger is a serious issue. It’s at the root of lots of other issues ranging from violence, both verbal and physical, to a host of mental health struggles and addictions.
But you can bust through it. You can show anger who’s the boss of you.
There are lots of theories and books out there on how to overcome anger. Search them out. Read them. Get in front of a therapist if you find out you need that one on one help.
There is nothing wrong with that.
One main thing that has helped me and I’ve seen it help a lot of other people is stepping back.
In the heat of the moment, when the anger response is triggered, you know nothing good is going to come out of your mouth. And whatever you say will more than likely hurt whoever you’re facing off with.
Put your hand up and tell them you have to step back and cool off. But add onto the statement that you’ll be back in 10 minutes. Or 5. Maybe you need 15. The key is that you will be back!
That works especially well if people close to you know that you’re struggling with anger and this is a coping technique you’re trying. They’ll get it.
Now, what you do in those few minutes of cool down is key.
Deep breathing works while repeating a mantra that is positive and encouraging.
Focusing on some key sentences like how strong you are, how you’re able to beat this, how much you love the person you’re taking to, how they love you.
Sometimes writing down what you want to say, helps too, because anger tends to jumble up our thoughts. So writing things that you want to say can help work through the anger rush.
Some people meditate, listen to music, exercise, mentally imagine how the conversation can stay assertive instead of aggressive.
The trick is finding what works to calm you down so you can continue the discussion. What can reduce your rapid heart beat. Slow your breathing.
It’s not an overnight fix. It takes time, effort, patience and also it takes help from those around you.
But you can do it. Your life is worth it and so are your friends and family.
Show anger who’s boss.